Second-time weddings can be incredibly special. They can present a couple with a chance at finding love again and the opportunity to start over, with somebody different, in a newly-discovered time of their lives. There are lots of traditional (and outdated) ‘dos and do nots’ when it comes to a second marriage, but ultimately, your wedding should be whatever you want it to be, however big, small or unconventional. Although the majority of people should and will be so excited for you and want you to have an amazing day, there may be a small minority who feel uncomfortable or awkward about the whole situation and might make it a little bit difficult in the planning stages. Try to understand everyone’s point of view and follow some of this advice to make it a day that is memorable, enjoyable and filled with love for everyone.
One of the advantages of a wedding the second time round is that you have already done it once, so have a really good idea about what you found was important and what you would have perhaps changed given another opportunity. You might have spent a small fortune on a luxury designer wedding dress, only to realise that there are some amazing high-street alternatives, that cost a fraction of the price. You may also have a different outlook when it comes to priorities; does the shade of purple have to be an exact match for the bridesmaids’ dresses, or can you compromise and focus on making sure the food and drink is perfect? Lots of brides admit after their wedding that they stressed over some pretty minor things and, given the chance again, would try to enjoy the planning process more instead of seeing it as such a chore, so try to remember that and don’t sweat the small stuff!
Family can be one of the trickiest hurdles to overcome when it comes to second-time weddings. Still being close to in-laws or extended family of your ex can bring about difficult conversations and decisions regarding guest lists, whilst children or stepchildren of blended families can sometimes have objections to the whole wedding, especially if there hasn’t been a huge amount of time to let emotions cool down. One way to combat this challenge can be to sit everyone down and communicate- communication really is key. You could spend a long time worrying about how a family member is going to react, building it up for an inordinate amount of time, before realising that they were actually very supportive and encouraging from the start. You need to face the difficult conversations head-on, as early as possible. Ask your family what their reservations or concerns might be about the wedding and what you can do to try and alleviate any of their worries. Just being listened to and taken into consideration it often what people want and just knowing that their feelings are being listened to, heard and given thought to really can make all the difference.
Another nice idea, aside from simply talking things through, is to give family members a specific role leading up to the wedding, to ensure that they feel involved and important throughout the whole process. Stepchildren might understandably feel a little pushed out or thrust aside by the arrival of a new parent and a wedding is legal confirmation that this new family member is here to stay. Asking for help with the planning and giving family members small, but important jobs can not only help you with the whole process but will also show them that their involvement is really important to you and that you value their input, which will go a long way in bridging any gaps.
You may need to make some other considerations for a second-time wedding to ensure that harmony and peace prevails throughout the whole day. Arranging the seating plan in a considered way might prevent any awkward encounters between feuding family members and it might be wise to think about who you are going to seat at your top table and what message this sends to the family about who is important to you. If the father of the bride walked the bride down the aisle the first time around, you might decide to switch this up the second time and change this tradition. After all, traditions are there to be broken, so do not feel you have to adhere to all conventions if this doesn’t suit you the second time around.
Furthermore, don’t feel restricted or prohibited from other traditions because people tell you you’re not allowed to do that at your second wedding. Many brides will be told that they cannot possibly wear a white wedding dress for their second wedding and must opt for something more reserved and less ostentatious. If this is a view you share yourself, then feel free to adhere to this expectation, but don’t be put off from having the second wedding of your dreams just because of other people’s views. A second wedding is a second chance at find your fairy-tale happy ending, so why shouldn’t you go all out and wear exactly what you want? You might feel that wedding traditions such as the bouquet toss, or first dance aren’t what you want to do a second time and that’s fine- just follow your heart and make it as personal and traditional as you and your partner want.
At BWR-London, we believe your wedding should be tailored to you, which is why we work closely with our clients to create the perfect wedding rings. We specialise in crafting bespoke wedding rings that you’ll love forever. We can make almost any ring so have a look at our portfolio for inspiration and get in touch for more information.